However you're doing grief, you're doing it right. I wish you healing for the loss of your mother and all the pain that preceded it. Also as far as your thoughts on shame and the cruelty of the world toward fat people, we fellow fatties, whether bigger or smaller, more enlightened or more enmeshed, more or less self-aware, we all are helped by your thoughtful and honest commentary, even those ones who respond negatively. That's about where they are on the journey and not about anything you did wrong. But I'm sure you know that.